171. Living As Her Now – 3 Embodied Mindset Shifts to Step Into Your Future Self
Episode 171. Living As Her Now: 3 Embodied Mindset Shifts to Step Into Your Future Self
In this episode, I’m sharing:
A behind-the-scenes look at my current life transition and how it’s shaping my next chapter
3 powerful mindset shifts that will help you embody your future self today—not months or years from now
A practical journaling exercise to take these ideas from aha moment to aligned action
A reminder that healing doesn’t have to be complete before expansion begins—your future self heals on the go
✨ Key Resources:
Transcript
Hello, and welcome back to the show. Let’s dive right in because this episode is packed with gold.
Today, you're getting a 3-part roadmap that helps you step into your Embodied Warrior self. By the end of this episode, you're going to have aligned actions and insights you can turn into transformation.
Here’s the thing I want you to keep in mind: you already ARE your future self—and you get to choose to live as her right now.
She isn't some point in the future you have to get to. You can embody her now, moment by moment, choice by choice. It's a decision—not some distant destination.
In this episode, I'm dropping:
How operating from your future self allows you to have more agency and presence in the here and now
3 mindset shifts to help you step into your future self—you’re going to think about how you approach your daily life and how you view yourself in an entirely new light after listening to this show
And ways to turn these mindset shifts into embodied change
After being obsessed with mindset work for years on end but never really changing, I realized that unless you find ways to turn insights and ideas into aligned actions—customized for you, your challenges, and your preferences—the epiphany will just fizzle out. You’ll forget all about it after a month or two. So this piece is critical.
This is going to be partly a book club episode. I recently pulled a book off my shelf that I first read back in 2022, and it had a few key ideas I wanted to share here.
The book is Be Your Future Self Now by Benjamin Hardy. I’ll include the link for it in the show notes, which you can find at embodiedwritingwarrior.com/podcast.
I opened it to a random chapter, and the message I landed on hit me at the exact right moment.
Full disclosure—I’m in a season of transition right now.
For the last four years, I've worked at a production plant building doors. I originally intended to stay at the job for one year before starting my own business.
I had no idea at the time that I would encounter challenges and reopen old wounds that would lead to chaos and crisis across the board—with my health, friendships, relationships, sense of purpose... all the things.
I understand why I needed to go through it all now, and it has ultimately made me more resilient and rooted in my sense of self.
And during this time, this door-building job was an anchor. It was consistent, reliable. I felt held and supported by at least one solid thing. So, I stayed longer than expected—and I don’t regret it.
I also started to feel restlessness and dissatisfaction creeping in last summer. I knew my days at this job were numbered. I knew I was still meant to do something in the online space with all the wisdom I'd gained over the years as a coach and healer... but I didn't see the path forward until more recently.
At the end of December, my husband and I decided we would sell our home here and move up north, where we can buy a home outright with no mortgage and have the financial breathing room to take a year off work.
You might’ve guessed this if you’ve been listening for a while—but I’m not someone who’s going to be lounging on a couch eating bonbons and watching Desperate Housewives all day. That might be someone’s jam, and that’s cool! But for me, while I see the value in rest and relaxation, I also love working on projects and creating things and feeling like I’m being productive.
So, this move gives me the chance to go all-in on the business I know I’m meant to build.
Of course, this creates a lot more uncertainty and instability as I go through the inevitable learning curve. There’s going to be failure, trial and error... all the things.
I was in a bit of a “season of waiting.” I wanted to be done moving and done working at my job before I started doing content and business-related things. But that was procrastination disguised as self-care.
Then our order file at work started dropping. Overtime Fridays disappeared. We started going home early on Thursdays. The rumors of layoffs—or even the entire plant shutting down—started spreading.
We’re a Canadian plant for an American company, so given the current political climate, I’m sure you can guess how that might translate into some... challenges.
I realized—one way or the other—this job is not my forever job. And even though I was planning to leave in July anyway, the idea of losing it sooner made the transition feel even more real... and scary.
That’s when I pulled out this Future Self book.
In it, Benjamin Hardy shares 7 threats to your future self, 7 truths, and 7 steps to embody her. The lucky number 7 actually inspired the format for episode 170, the big rebirth episode—definitely check that one out if you haven’t yet.
Today, I’m going to talk about one truth and two threats, and I’ll expand on them using my own lived experience and a few other resources. If this is landing for you, I’d definitely recommend reading the book in its entirety.
Okay, so the first embodied mindset shift—and the page I happened to open to—is this:
It’s better to fail as your future self than succeed as your current self.
This mindset shift is one of the most powerful solutions to Roadblock #3 of the Embodied Warrior. I talk about all 7 roadblocks in episode 170, which I’ll link for you in the description.
To refresh your memory, this roadblock is about how you take amazing care of yourself—basically, you succeed as your current self—until you try to expand.
You create a breakthrough—maybe in food, relationships, or money—and feel unstoppable. So, you decide to go after something bigger. But then comes the uncertainty, the fear, the failure...
Because when you're going after something you've never done before, you're going to fail. You're going to be a beginner. And beginners kinda suck at the thing until they put in enough reps over time.
And if you’re here, you’re a Type A, hard-charging woman who likes to win. Your competitive streak is most likely a mile wide.
Failing as your future self can feel so uncomfortable that you regress into old, self-sabotaging patterns. And then you use your tools, have another breakthrough, and overcome the struggle again.
But all you’re doing is continuing to win the same battles you already know you can win—because you’ve won them before.
Steven Pressfield says this about healing in The War of Art:
“I’ve got nothing against true healing... but it can be a colossal exercise in resistance.”
That line hit me hard.
Sometimes, we think we need to heal more before stepping into our future self. But what if healing is something she does on the go?
We often carry this false idea that our future self is perfect. That she has nothing left to heal. That her “stuff” never comes up.
So we think: until I’m more healed—more perfect even—I can’t be her.
But your future self still has her flaws. She still has inner work to do. She just does the work as it comes up—and she does it while engaging fully with the rest of her life.
Because here’s the thing: you can do a ton of emotional healing in the privacy of your own home, in your own protected bubble, and feel stable, secure, and like you’ve “got it.”
But do you still use those tools in the middle of a workplace conflict, or a breakup, or a major life transition? Can you bring the healing into your everyday life, or was it just a one-time moment of clarity and peace?
The only way you eventually win as your future self is by being willing to fail—over and over again.
But by becoming willing to fail—aka willing to learn, practice, and experiment—you make becoming her inevitable.
Now, what does it look like to put this into practice? How do you embody this idea?
You're going to get out your journal or a Word doc for this. I’ll also have this exercise on my website for you to refer to later.
Journal Exercise:
Make two columns or sections.
In the first, write everything your current self is succeeding at. This doesn’t mean she’s doing everything perfectly—it means she has the tools to navigate certain situations.
Maybe you’re succeeding at your job—you’ve been there for years and you’ve put the reps in.
Maybe you have a consistent workout routine you feel confident with.
Maybe you're great at meal planning on the weekends.
Write it all down—every area where you’re already successful.
Then, in the second section, write down the things your future self does that you currently “fail” at. These are the routines or action steps she carries out to accomplish those big dreams of yours.
And when I say fail, I’m talking about things that confuse you… things you're inconsistent with… things you procrastinate around or don’t make time for—yet.
For me, this looks like social media. I feel like I’m “bad” at it—I don’t understand some of the tech. I don’t get how people make those wild skits or jump into the frame or add those effects to their Reels. So, I’m inconsistent.
A few months ago, I forced myself to do a 100 Reels challenge, but I struggled and felt like a failure for most of it. Then I stopped posting Reels altogether.
But I know my future self uses social media as a form of self-expression—to grow this podcast and build a community. That’s one of my examples.
So now:
Make a list of all the things you need to start failing at to get to where you want to go.
Then choose 3 to 5 of the most impactful items on your list and break them into tiny baby steps.
If I struggle with social media, maybe I just post one Reel this week. I don’t overcommit to another 100-day challenge—I just make one. Or maybe I just brainstorm Reel ideas. Maybe I post on Facebook instead, because that feels easier.
Once you’ve got your baby steps, get intentional about doing them consistently. Maybe that’s one step per day—or two to three steps per week. Pick something that feels realistic to start.
And every time you take one of those steps—even if it feels weird or awkward or doesn’t “work”—celebrate anyway. Do a little victory dance. Strike a power pose. Celebrate yourself for choosing to fail as your future self—because that’s how you expand and embody her right now.
So that’s the first big idea.
Now let’s talk about one of the most subtle but dangerous threats to your future self:
Not being in the arena is failing by default.
Ask yourself this right now—gently and honestly:
Are you in the arena?
And if the answer is no, I want you to remember—you’re still amazing. You’re still worthy. You're still enough.
Because being in the arena is hard—and that’s why most people don’t go there.
And again, you like to win. So it's way more comfortable to keep winning where it's familiar—where the victories feel safe and predictable.
But I’m appealing to that healthy competitive streak in you when I say:
Choosing guaranteed wins is failing by default.
And you're not here to fail. Not permanently anyways.
You're here to grow, to learn, to expand.
So if you’re listening to this while walking your dog or meal prepping, I want you to think:
What arena are you avoiding right now?
Based on your goals and dreams, your answer might be:
Writing that book.
Starting the business.
Posting your art online.
Going after that dream job.
Getting back on the dating apps after heartbreak.
Starting a family, even though motherhood terrifies you.
Remember: This is the arena of your future self, not your current self.
Working at my current door job was once an arena. It’s one of those physically demanding jobs where I’ve seen dozens of people quit within the first week. Sometimes they walk out on the first day.
When I started, they told me the whole department was male and women historically didn’t succeed there. Perfect. I had so much fun working my butt off to get good at that job.
And now that they’ve seen one woman succeed, we’ve had other women come in and absolutely crush it as well.
But here’s the thing: that job is now the arena of my current self.
And yes, I can keep succeeding here. It would be comfortable.
But I’m not meant to stay there.
Just like you’re not meant to stay where you are—because there’s a new arena calling your future self.
Robert Brault said it best:
“We are kept from our goal not by obstacles but by a clear path to a lesser goal.”
So once you identify your future-self arena, I want you to brainstorm at least 10 ways to step into it.
Some of these steps should feel super small and doable—like brainstorming book titles for ten minutes. Then save this list and refer to it often.
You might even want to track how often you step into the arena each week—and celebrate every single time you do.
Now, the third and final idea from Be Your Future Self Now is this:
Small battles and small goals keep you stuck.
Get ready—because this one can seriously change your life.
The reality is, when you're caught up in small, urgent battles—those day-to-day stressors, emotional whirlwinds, and distractions—it pulls you away from the big vision.
These little fires feel important, but they rarely serve your greater purpose.
Here’s what this can look like:
You respond to every text immediately, but you don’t carve out time to hit the gym or go for your daily walk.
You do the laundry, the dishes, the cleaning — but you “never have time” to work on your business,.
You say yes to every coffee date, every favor, every “quick call,” but deep down you feel resentful because your dream keeps getting pushed to the side.
I had to get real about this in my own life.
At my door job, I sometimes get way too butthurt about stuff—whether it’s inefficient process changes or watching the department bully get away with treating someone badly. I let it get under my skin.
But during this transition time, I’ve started asking:
Would my future self care about this?
Will this matter in 6 months when I no longer work here?
Is this frustration worth the amount of emotional energy it’s costing me?
It’s energetically expensive to get lost in the small stuff.
And the more energy you spend there, the less you have for your actual dreams.
So what’s the solution?
Operate from your future self. Focus on the big picture.
Here’s what this looks like in practice:
Shift from Urgency to Strategy: Ask, “Does this align with my future self’s vision?” before reacting to anything.
Minimize Distractions: When you're caught in an emotional loop or a frustrating situation, pause and ask, “Is this helping me build the life I want?”
Create Space for the Big Picture First: Prioritize your biggest, juiciest goals—the ones that will move the needle in your life.
Here’s a fun exercise to help:
Step 1:
Write out where you want to be in 5 years. No limits. Big, bold, expansive vision. This is your Point B.
Step 2:
Write out where you are now—habits, systems, finances, anything that stands between you and Point B. This is your Point A.
Step 3:
Open ChatGPT. I know, I know, AI, but it does have some positive functions. Paste in both Point A and Point B and use this prompt:
“Please give me a 5-year plan, broken down year by year, then month by month, then week by week, to get me from Point A to Point B. Include daily needle-movers that are super small and low effort so I can take action even on my lowest-energy days.”
Step 4:
Start using this plan as a loose guide. Don’t stress about following it perfectly. It’s meant to give you direction—especially when you’re in that “I don’t know where to start” feeling.
And remind yourself often:
This plan—and the actions on it—matter more than the little dramas and urgent distractions.
Suddenly, you're laughing off that F-boy at work who keeps talking about you behind your back.
You’re not spiraling over the surprise car repair bill—because your long-term vision has you financially secure.
You’re not making it a whole thing that you ate too much pizza last night—you have a healthy breakfast and move on.
Because you’re focused on being your future self, one choice at a time.
I hope this episode has been so valuable for you—and that you’re taking action on what we’ve talked about.
Bonus points if you go grab Benjamin Hardy’s book, read it, and journal about how these truths and threats are showing up in your own life.
Then walk yourself through his seven steps. That’s what I’m doing right now—because the first time I read this book, I was only in mindset mode. I thought, “Ooh, this all makes sense!” and then… I didn’t actually do anything with it.
So now, I’m going back to those life-changing books with a new intention: Embodiment. I’m committed to actually doing the processes and becoming the version of me I’m reading about.
I’m wishing you and your future self—who, honestly, are one and the same because you can choose to be her right now—so much health, happiness, and clarity.
Until we connect again in a future episode, take care.
💫 Journal Exercise: Current Self vs. Future Self
Step 1: Create two columns or sections in your journal.
In Column 1, list everything your current self is succeeding at. These are areas you’ve built confidence, skill, or consistency—no matter how small.
In Column 2, list the habits, projects, or actions your future self is doing—especially the ones you currently feel like you're “failing” at (confusion, inconsistency, procrastination).
Step 2: Ask yourself:
What do I need to start “failing at” in order to grow into my next chapter?
Where am I avoiding being a beginner because I don’t want to fail?
Step 3: Pick 3 to 5 of those future-self actions and break them into tiny baby steps.
Example:
“Posting on social media” becomes → brainstorm 3 post ideas → create 1 Reel → post 1 piece this week.
Step 4: Take those steps—realistically and consistently.
And every time you follow through, celebrate.
Victory dance. Power pose. Self-hug. Do whatever reminds you: “I’m living as her now.”
🥊 Embodied Mindset Shift #1:
It’s better to fail as your future self than succeed as your current self.
Reflect on how this applies to your journey.
Where have you been prioritizing safe success instead of brave expansion?
What would it look like to let yourself be a beginner again?
🏟️ Embodied Mindset Shift #2:
Not being in the arena is failing by default.
Ask yourself honestly: Am I in the arena right now?
If not, what dream or desire are you avoiding because it feels uncomfortable, vulnerable, or uncertain?
Prompt:
What new arena is calling to me right now? What would it look like to step into it, imperfectly but boldly?
🗺️ 4 Steps to Escape the Small Battles and Live as Her Now
Your Future Self Is Waiting—Here's How to Start Walking Towards Her
This process helps you zoom out from the daily noise and anchor into the long-term vision. It’s not about perfect execution—it’s about having a North Star when everything feels urgent but unimportant.
✨ Step 1: Cast the Vision (Point B)
Write out where you’d like to be in 5 years.
What does your life look like? Who are you being? How do you feel?
Don’t hold back—let it be big, bold, and wildly expansive. The more emotionally juicy and vivid your vision is, the more magnetic it becomes.
This is your Point B—the embodied, actualized version of you.
🔮 Give your dreams space to breathe. The future expands in proportion to your willingness to imagine it.
🪞 Step 2: Get Honest (Point A)
Now write out where you are right now.
What’s currently standing between you and your vision?
List the habits you need to shift, systems you need to build, emotional or financial milestones you need to reach, and any energy leaks that need to be sealed.
This is your Point A—your launch point.
💡 Clarity isn’t always comfortable—but it’s where all transformation begins.
🧠 Step 3: Use ChatGPT to Reverse Engineer the Journey
Copy and paste both your Point A and Point B into ChatGPT.
Then use this prompt:
“Please give me a 5-year plan, broken down year by year, then month by month, then week by week, to get me from Point A to Point B. Include daily needle-movers that are super small and low effort so I can take action even on my lowest-energy days.”
Let AI help you chunk it down into doable action steps, especially if you're in a “I don’t even know where to start” phase.
🛠️ This is structure in service of your magic—not a prison of perfection.
🚀 Step 4: Start Moving—Imperfectly
Use the plan as a loose compass, not a rigid rulebook.
The goal isn’t to follow every step perfectly—it’s to create momentum in the direction of your dream.
When daily distractions creep in, remind yourself:
🎯 These 5-year actions matter infinitely more than the small, urgent battles pulling me away from my purpose.
